Alright nerds tonight we are going to breakdown the 10 seasons of NZHL goalies. This league has seen 193 different dumb-dumbs in net from actual goalies who know the controls to the more then occasional “Am I good…no. Am I better than a forfeit… maybe.”” Its been a wild ride and as much trash we all talk about goalies we know it’s hard just take all of this with a grain of salt. Except Pizzle.
First off let’s look at the guys who have spent way too much time in net. The nerds that really need to find better weekend plans than to get beat up by cross creases.
|J Pizzle 33||178|
I have to give some credit to the goalies that have hung around long enough to make this list with all the garbage they have to put up with. I mean there was a season where I played defense for a majority of the season and that was unfortunate for the goalie.
The first stat we are going to look at is just the number of shots face throughout the years. The left chart will show just total number of shots seen in NZHL, with experience brings wisdom and with that wisdom you can definitively determine how EA fucked you. On the right side we broke it down by game. These are the guys that frankly got lit up more than Sonny Corleone pulling up to that toll booth.
|player||Sum of SA||player||Sum of Shots/Gm|
|J Pizzle 33||2738||Undead Viper95||28.3|
The tales of two stats that absolutely mean nothing but are just interesting to look at. Also, some good fodder for jabs in the locker rooms. For Example, Pizzle has let in more than 200 goals than anyone because he plays barehanded and blindfolded. In all seriousness just the massive number of games played and shots against is a good measure of consistency and experience in bouncing back. The right side is the least amount of goals scored against just for well no reason actually.
|Player||Total Goals Against||————||Player||Total Goals Agains|
|J Pizzle 33||641||CN65||40|
|iKariya x9||231||Matthews x94||67|
|MacShrimp||217||Marine m1ke k||80|
Opposite of Goals
The next set of stats we will look at is the saves. It is broken down by just pure number of saves throughout the season and the guys that give you the most saves per game. The thought here is that the total saves table will give you some insight into some of the older guys who have been doing it forever and the left table is the guys you want on your side if you have frosty on wing drink from the goalie’s water bottle while his team is playing D and/or if you have Obi “hunkering” down your defense. Gonna get lit up
|J Pizzle 33||2097||Th3Disney||19.40|
|NpL Pensfan||677||Undead Viper95||15.50|
Goals Against Average
The next chapter in this pointless waste of our lives is Goals Against Average for all y’all clowns. First and foremost, if any of you are drinking while reading this, take a shot for Viper. Dwagon and Mike get a pass as I am sure they were emergencies. The Ole’ it’s the third week and we aint in the playoffs so im not showing up. Cheers for the attempt but in dwagons case he can’t shoot and miss on himself so it’s probably going to be a bad time. The right shows the best GAA for goalies who have played at least 10 games. I thoroughly enjoyed Shrimp not being first here, the little things in life. I think this list is pretty expected with the proven talent we have seen over the last 10 seasons.
|Poor Poor Player||GAA||———–||People with Defense||GAA|
|Marine m1ke k||6.667||NickyFattss||3.500|
|Orbit Save||6.000||J Pizzle 33||3.601|
Otherwise known as doing your job. The two charts will show the best and the worst save percentages all time in this shithole.
|Tryhards||Save %||————||Bless your Hearts||Save %|
|samsonR93||0.809||Marine m1ke k||0.572|
|Hoots l16l||0.792||Orbit Save||0.663|
|CN65||0.791||Bo Horvat Jr||0.667|
|Fullsend||0.780||Clarke x 92||0.721|
Shout out to Totz for having the best career save percentage in the NZHL. I am going to give worst save % guys a break as they have been beat up more than lil’ Shrimp when big Shrimp is alone for more than 30 seconds.
I was actually a bit surprised by the lack of shutouts we have, so good on you forwards. I mean we have some eye popping numbers with Pizzle having double the amount of shutouts then the next closest guy. I also want to look at consistency. The left side show the percent of games played that ended with a shutout. As I was looking at this I realized that I didnt put a game played min on the shutouts so we have Totz up there with 1/4 of his 4 games played being a shut out. Disney is the same but he has his 5 games played with his one shutout.
|Hero||# of SO||—————-||Heros Pt 2||SO %|
|J Pizzle 33||12||iWantMyTotz||25.00%|
|SquirtShirt||2||J Pizzle 33||6.74%|
|Kdb c7||2||Master Sh0tgun||5.26%|
Wins and Losses
Wins and Losses is pretty self-explanatory and I think at this point we can guess who is where and why. I just wanted to cover all of our bases and congratulate Pizzle and Deathmaul for being both the biggest winners and losers and the same time. Poor Kempe without a win maybe he will get a chance to change that this season or he could be stuck on a team with me and then well wins are hard to come by.
|Winners||# Wins||–||Winner||Win%||–||Loser||Win %||–||Double Loser||# Loses|
|J Pizzle 33||102||Clarke x 92||75.0%||Kempe 9||0.0%||J Pizzle 33||60|
|MacShrimp||40||Fullsend||60.0%||Marine m1ke k||25.0%||epicgatorstv||37|
|iKariya x9||24||J Pizzle 33||57.3%||lMiller9l||33.3%||SquirtShirt||25|
|NpL Pensfan||23||xKillSwitchx665||56.6%||Matthews x94||33.3%||MacShrimp||22|
|epicgatorstv||21||Needbackpack911||56.5%||Master Sh0tgun||36.8%||Kdb c7||18|
Goalie Points and the Lone Goal
The list is smaller then Furry’s “business” when Obi has his shirt on but here are the four goalies that have points recorded in the NZHL stat book. If you have a point and you’re not on here blame Furry. There was also one recorded goalie goal in NZHL history scored by Pizzle. Congratulations on being the sharpest tool in the hammer drawer.
|J Pizzle 33||11|
Goalie Draft Points
I want to apologize here right before the start as I had no idea what to factor into ranking goalies. This goes the same way as the skater break down as in positive points are earned for being better than average at certain stats and negative points are accrued for being worse than average.
This is in no way a determination on your skill level just on how your stats compare to other goalies who have strapped up in the NZHL take it with a grain of salt and stop bitching. I would point out Disney and Totz are way ahead just by their success in their limited games.
|J Pizzle 33||0.81|
|Clarke x 92||-0.17|
|Bo Horvat Jr||-0.84|
|Marine m1ke k||-3.32|
This concludes my very poor interpretation on goalie stats but at least the stats are “accurate” (unless someone pulled another pizzle) where you all can make your own conclusions.
Peace Punch Captain Crunch