Blog

Edited 15Feb2023

Alright nerds tonight we are going to breakdown the 10 seasons of NZHL goalies. This league has seen 193 different dumb-dumbs in net from actual goalies who know the controls to the more then occasional “Am I good…no. Am I better than a forfeit… maybe.”” Its been a wild ride and as much trash we all talk about goalies we know it’s hard just take all of this with a grain of salt. Except Pizzle.

Games Played

First off let’s look at the guys who have spent way too much time in net. The nerds that really need to find better weekend plans than to get beat up by cross creases.

Player	Games Played
J Pizzle 33	178
Dethmaul	116
MacShrimp	68
epicgatorstv	66
Playeryanr2	60
iKariya x9	58
NpL Pensfan	56
xKillSwitchx665	53
NickyFattss	44
SquirtShirt	42

I have to give some credit to the goalies that have hung around long enough to make this list with all the garbage they have to put up with. I mean there was a season where I played defense for a majority of the season and that was unfortunate for the goalie.

Shots…Shots…Shots

The first stat we are going to look at is just the number of shots face throughout the years. The left chart will show just total number of shots seen in NZHL, with experience brings wisdom and with that wisdom you can definitively determine how EA fucked you. On the right side we broke it down by game. These are the guys that frankly got lit up more than Sonny Corleone pulling up to that toll booth.

Player	Total Shots		————————–	Player	Shots/Game
player	Sum of SA			player	Sum of Shots/Gm
J Pizzle 33	2738			Undead Viper95	28.3
Dethmaul	1631			Kempe 9	24.2
epicgatorstv	1187			xScaryTerryxx	24.0
MacShrimp	1101			Hoots l16l	24.0
NpL Pensfan	917			Th3Disney	23.6
Playeryanr2	888			Fullsend	21.4
iKariya x9	867			CN65	19.1
xKillSwitchx665	826			Emb3rToInf3rno	18.4
SquirtShirt	686			Kdb c7	18.2
NickyFattss	681			Martinez1225	18.0

Goals

The tales of two stats that absolutely mean nothing but are just interesting to look at. Also, some good fodder for jabs in the locker rooms. For Example, Pizzle has let in more than 200 goals than anyone because he plays barehanded and blindfolded. In all seriousness just the massive number of games played and shots against is a good measure of consistency and experience in bouncing back. The right side is the least amount of goals scored against just for well no reason actually.

Player	Total Goals Against	————	Player	Total Goals Agains
J Pizzle 33	641		CN65	40
Dethmaul	428		Thanx goalie	46
epicgatorstv	270		Fullsend	47
NpL Pensfan	240		Manship91	58
Playeryanr2	236		Emb3rToInf3rno	59
iKariya x9	231		Matthews x94	67
MacShrimp	217		Marine m1ke k	80
xKillSwitchx665	169		lMiller9l	82
SquirtShirt	160		Master Sh0tgun	86
NickyFattss	154		Snowta9	88

Opposite of Goals

The next set of stats we will look at is the saves. It is broken down by just pure number of saves throughout the season and the guys that give you the most saves per game. The thought here is that the total saves table will give you some insight into some of the older guys who have been doing it forever and the left table is the guys you want on your side if you have frosty on wing drink from the goalie’s water bottle while his team is playing D and/or if you have Obi “hunkering” down your defense. Gonna get lit up

Player	Total Saves	———————	Player	Saves/Game
J Pizzle 33	2097		Th3Disney	19.40
Dethmaul	1203		Kempe 9	19.00
epicgatorstv	917		Hoots l16l	19.00
MacShrimp	884		Fullsend	16.70
NpL Pensfan	677		Undead Viper95	15.50
xKillSwitchx665	657		CN65	15.10
Playeryanr2	652		Emb3rToInf3rno	14.47
iKariya x9	636		samsonR93	14.25
NickyFattss	527		Kdb c7	14.09
SquirtShirt	526		Martinez1225	14.00

Goals Against Average

The next chapter in this pointless waste of our lives is Goals Against Average for all y’all clowns. First and foremost, if any of you are drinking while reading this, take a shot for Viper. Dwagon and Mike get a pass as I am sure they were emergencies. The Ole’ it’s the third week and we aint in the playoffs so im not showing up. Cheers for the attempt but in dwagons case he can’t shoot and miss on himself so it’s probably going to be a bad time. The right shows the best GAA for goalies who have played at least 10 games. I thoroughly enjoyed Shrimp not being first here, the little things in life. I think this list is pretty expected with the proven talent we have seen over the last 10 seasons.

Poor Poor Player	GAA	———–	People with Defense	GAA
Undead Viper95	12.750		xKillSwitchx665	3.189
xScaryTerryxx	11.000		MacShrimp	3.191
Marine m1ke k	6.667		NickyFattss	3.500
Orbit Save	6.000		J Pizzle 33	3.601
lMiller9l	5.467		Snowta9	3.667
Kempe 9	5.167		Dethmaul	3.690
Hoots l16l	5.000		SquirtShirt	3.810
Fullsend	4.700		Thanx goalie	3.833
Master Sh0tgun	4.526		Playeryanr2	3.933
Matthews x94	4.467		Emb3rToInf3rno	3.933

Save Percentages

Otherwise known as doing your job. The two charts will show the best and the worst save percentages all time in this shithole.

Tryhards	Save %	————	Bless your Hearts	Save %
iWantMyTotz	0.845		xScaryTerryxx	0.542
Th3Disney	0.822		Undead Viper95	0.549
samsonR93	0.809		Marine m1ke k	0.572
MacShrimp	0.803		ViraL	0.625
xKillSwitchx665	0.795		lMiller9l	0.661
Hoots l16l	0.792		Orbit Save	0.663
CN65	0.791		Bo Horvat Jr	0.667
Emb3rToInf3rno	0.786		Needbackpack911	0.713
Kempe 9	0.786		Manship91	0.713
Fullsend	0.780		Clarke x 92	0.721

Shout out to Totz for having the best career save percentage in the NZHL. I am going to give worst save % guys a break as they have been beat up more than lil’ Shrimp when big Shrimp is alone for more than 30 seconds.

Shut Outs

I was actually a bit surprised by the lack of shutouts we have, so good on you forwards. I mean we have some eye popping numbers with Pizzle having double the amount of shutouts then the next closest guy. I also want to look at consistency. The left side show the percent of games played that ended with a shutout. As I was looking at this I realized that I didnt put a game played min on the shutouts so we have Totz up there with 1/4 of his 4 games played being a shut out. Disney is the same but he has his 5 games played with his one shutout.

Hero	# of SO	—————-	Heros Pt 2	SO %
J Pizzle 33	12		iWantMyTotz	25.00%
Dethmaul	6		Th3Disney	20.00%
MacShrimp	5		xKillSwitchx665	7.55%
xKillSwitchx665	4		MacShrimp	7.35%
NickyFattss	3		NickyFattss	6.82%
SquirtShirt	2		J Pizzle 33	6.74%
iKariya x9	2		Emb3rToInf3rno	6.67%
Playeryanr2	2		Kdb c7	6.25%
Kdb c7	2		Master Sh0tgun	5.26%
epicgatorstv	1		Dethmaul	5.17%

Wins and Losses

Wins and Losses is pretty self-explanatory and I think at this point we can guess who is where and why. I just wanted to cover all of our bases and congratulate Pizzle and Deathmaul for being both the biggest winners and losers and the same time. Poor Kempe without a win maybe he will get a chance to change that this season or he could be stuck on a team with me and then well wins are hard to come by.

Winners	# Wins	–	Winner	Win%	–	Loser	Win %	–	Double Loser	# Loses
J Pizzle 33	102		Clarke x 92	75.0%		Kempe 9	0.0%		J Pizzle 33	60
Dethmaul	60		Emb3rToInf3rno	66.7%		samsonR93	12.5%		Dethmaul	51
MacShrimp	40		Fullsend	60.0%		Marine m1ke k	25.0%		epicgatorstv	37
xKillSwitchx665	30		Orbit Save	60.0%		Manship91	30.8%		Playeryanr2	30
Playeryanr2	26		NickyFattss	59.1%		SquirtShirt	31.0%		iKariya x9	29
NickyFattss	26		MacShrimp	58.8%		epicgatorstv	31.8%		NpL Pensfan	27
iKariya x9	24		J Pizzle 33	57.3%		lMiller9l	33.3%		SquirtShirt	25
NpL Pensfan	23		xKillSwitchx665	56.6%		Matthews x94	33.3%		MacShrimp	22
epicgatorstv	21		Needbackpack911	56.5%		Master Sh0tgun	36.8%		Kdb c7	18
SquirtShirt	13		Dethmaul	51.7%		Kdb c7	37.5%		xKillSwitchx665	17

Goalie Points and the Lone Goal

The list is smaller then Furry’s “business” when Obi has his shirt on but here are the four goalies that have points recorded in the NZHL stat book. If you have a point and you’re not on here blame Furry. There was also one recorded goalie goal in NZHL history scored by Pizzle. Congratulations on being the sharpest tool in the hammer drawer.

Player	Points
J Pizzle 33	11
Manship91	1
SquirtShirt	1
MacShrimp	1

Goalie Draft Points

I want to apologize here right before the start as I had no idea what to factor into ranking goalies. This goes the same way as the skater break down as in positive points are earned for being better than average at certain stats and negative points are accrued for being worse than average.

Stat	Factor	League Average
GAA	-1	4.50
win %	0.5	44%
Shots/gm	0.09375	17.08
sv/gm	0.25	12.58
shut %	3	3%

This is in no way a determination on your skill level just on how your stats compare to other goalies who have strapped up in the NZHL take it with a grain of salt and stop bitching. I would point out Disney and Totz are way ahead just by their success in their limited games.

Player	Points
Th3Disney	3.19
iWantMyTotz	2.83
MacShrimp	1.62
Hoots l16l	1.53
Emb3rToInf3rno	1.47
samsonR93	1.43
xKillSwitchx665	1.41
Kempe 9	1.38
Fullsend	1.31
CN65	1.30
Kdb c7	1.01
Snowta9	0.99
NickyFattss	0.98
J Pizzle 33	0.81
epicgatorstv	0.81
Turk609	0.79
Martinez1225	0.72
SquirtShirt	0.68
kibberts77	0.41
Thanx goalie	0.35
Master Sh0tgun	0.22
Dethmaul	0.17
Ninjapancake980	0.12
Playeryanr2	0.02
NpL Pensfan	0.01
iKariya x9	0.00
Clarke x 92	-0.17
Matthews x94	-0.36
Needbackpack911	-0.40
Manship91	-0.55
Bo Horvat Jr	-0.84
ViraL	-0.97
Orbit Save	-1.55
lMiller9l	-1.59
Marine m1ke k	-3.32
xScaryTerryxx	-5.97
Undead Viper95	-6.44

This concludes my very poor interpretation on goalie stats but at least the stats are “accurate” (unless someone pulled another pizzle) where you all can make your own conclusions.

Peace Punch Captain Crunch