NZHL Media Team
January 27, 2023 (*edit 2/7/23 screw you Pizzle) (*edit#2 2/16/23 so Furry can be involved since he signed up after I did this the first time)
Alright clowns as we get scouting for the 11th Season of NZHL lets breakdown the past glorious 10 seasons of this shitshow.
As scouting begins everyone will be getting excited for the fresh meat and trying to snipe a gem in the pool of rookies. There will be breakdowns of people we don’t know coming up but I thought it would be helpful for the new kids to see what we have been doing so far. Stats from the website have been evaluated and only NZHL stats count. I am going to say that NZHL is all that matters but as started looking at other leagues I just figured I didn’t like you fools that much.
Alright, let start off with the guys that have nothing better to do on the weekends. The NZHL OGs with the most time invested in this disaster. Here are the guys who have played the most games in this league.
|Clarke x 92||238|
|Bo Horvat Jr||237|
|Willis x 97||227|
|Gronk x l87l||210|
No real surprises here Turks older than dirt… I am actually surprised that Furry is number 2 I mean he has been here forever, but actual games played, the before time were desperate times. The big surprise is everyone’s favorite frenchie, Frosty comes in strong then disappears like Obi’s shirts on a live stream. If you’re looking for people that have been around the block a few times this is your list.
Next up whether by skill, determination, or in Ducky’s case just pure numbers its bound to go in, is the try-hards with the most goals.
|Willis x 97||383|
|Bo Horvat Jr||243|
|Gronk x l87l||233|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||1.89||49.1%|
|Willis x 97||1.69||32.3%|
I mean no one is going to argue with Willis’ goal scoring prowess, the man goes coast to coast more than anyone I have ever seen. When he gets frustrated, he will hold it too long or try to do it all himself. Bo does the same thing but he’s good at it. Shotsy scores from any position on the ice for better or for worse you have to be aware of where shotsy is at. Next, we take away the advantage of being 100 years old and playing NHL09 with Jesus himself and look at the guys that make the most of their opportunities. The guys who give you the most bang for your buck with just straight goals per game.
I mean anyone who paid attention this season and is not a champion was thankful that Shieldzy was just part time. If Iverson can last a whole season without getting himself in trouble it might be a good pick up… you have to risk it to get the biscuit, ya know? I have no idea how Dwagon made it to this list but hey man good for him.
Next up the all-time Pepper Shakers. The epitome of “Shots, Shots, Shots” song. If your team is gameplan is to throw in on and net and hope for the best (Jets) then these players should be at the top of your draft list. For the sake of parity, I have also broken it down by shots per game so we can give some props to the kids that just hope for the best every game but just haven’t been around long enough yet.
|Player||# of Shots Fired|
|Willis x 97||1,187|
|Bo Horvat Jr||914|
|Gronk x l87l||765|
|Players||Shots per Game|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||3.26|
|Willis x 97||3.07|
Are Willy and Frosty on all of these shooting/scoring charts? (- Edit have to add Giroux to this as well after the update)
I think it’s good to see the overall total shots to see the guys whose game hasn’t changed much over the year, but I think the shots per game is a little more telling of player type. Shieldzy will be on a lot of the scoring list by game just because it was his first season. I think some gems that show up here are Kush and Ledvinka. They are both very good players and generally guys who teams are built around. I think it was pretty evident how important Kush during the playoffs.
Now that we got the puck hogs out of the way let look at the Johnny Appleseed wannabes. We have both the NZHL all team leader in apples and the King Dishers that get it done every game. I think it’s important to note that there is quite a bit of crossover between the people who shoot a lot and people with a boat load of assists. This is I think where guys like kush and ledvinka really shine as their ability to hold the puck and move it around generates them points.
|Gronk x l87l||322|
|Willis x 97||313|
|Player||Assists per Game|
Self-explanatory but the next two tables are the summations of the ones above. The NZHL’s total point leaders and the guys who can do it the best game to game.
|Willis x 97||696|
|Gronk x l87l||555|
|Bo Horvat Jr||490|
|Player||Points per Game|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||3.26|
|Willis x 97||3.07|
It all counts the same in end, the usual suspects.
Here it is, the old John Madden “at the end of the game the team with the most points on the board is going to win”. We have the guys that win on the left with the highest plus/minus and the well… the guys who are I am sure, at least having “fun” with the worst plus/minus. I don’t think the positive plus minus is going to surprise many people as most of them have been on all the lists so far for scoring.
|Player||Sum of +/-|
|Willis x 97||203|
|Gronk x l87l||107|
|Marine m1ke k||-70|
I figured I wouldn’t show up anywhere on any list but yea this seems about right… I would also like to thank Furry and ViraL for making me not the worst after this update. In my defense I suck. Secondly I was also on the team in the first year that won one game all year and it’s been pretty much par for the course since. I am a little surprised to see Ducky here but he was on a couple of teams with me so that doesn’t help anyone’s plus minus. We have Broke Hood Rak here the best defensive forward in the league on the negative list which is surprising as well. Orbits… yea he belongs here with me. I was going to put a clip of that moon shot One Tee I had the last week of the season, but it hasn’t landed yet so for now this is pretty much every time I touch the puck.
Plus Minus Per Game
|Player||Best +/- per Game|
|Player||Worst +/- Per Game|
|Marine m1ke k||-1.49|
To help even out a bad season (or 10) and try to extrapolate the real winners and losers I broke the Plus/Minus down by game. Obviously if you are coming out with a positive plus/minus your team is more then likely winning the game. Look at Sandin coming in strong, taking over a team that was falling apart, winning a championship and having one of the best plus minuses in the league per game. Oh hey look at me I still suck. I don’t really think from the guys I recognize either list that it is all too surprising.
Lets get to it the biggest goons in this place. There is not one name that surprises me here you bunch of animals. I broke it down overall which honestly was closer than I thought it was going to be. The middle chart is the PIMs per game to try and show you who you are going to have to reserve a seat for in the lil bitch box. The last graph will show the angels of the league. This is the guys with the least penalty minutes per game by guys with over 20 games played. This maybe a good line to look at draft time as you might want to go with someone like Jon, Rookies or Ploop knowing they won’t be in the box much.
Total Penalties All Time
|Damn Goons||Total PIMS|
|Bo Horvat Jr||383|
|Willis x 97||348|
|Gronk x l87l||270|
PIMS per Game Losers and Winners
|Marine m1ke k||47||1.72|
|Bo Horvat Jr||237||1.62|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||76||0.38|
Surprised Shrimp wasn’t the leader of hits per game here it looks like he has some work to do to take that title.
|Steroid Users||Total Hits|
|Bo Horvat Jr||737|
|Willis x 97||714|
|Players||Hits per Game|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||6.12|
On the left we have just some OG faceoff warriors, the guys who have taken the most draws in league history.
|Centers||Total Draws||Lifetime Win %|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||2,337||49%|
The middle chart is the guys who have won the most faceoffs with their faceoff win percentage.
|Playa||Total Number of Wins||Win %|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||1148||49%|
The last chart is sorted by the highest faceoff win percentage by guys who have taken at least 20 faceoffs.
|Winner||Total Faceoffs||Career Win %|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||2337||49%|
The guys best at taking one for the team.
Givers and Takers
This grouping is looking at all time takeaways, giveaways sand the best ratio. To the left we have the most takeaways and interceptions in NZHL history. Its not a surprise with Turk and Marty leading the group. You will also see the current Selke winner rak along with the guy who should have won Ducky. The middle chart is the guy that have given the puck away more then anyone else. A lot of the guys there like willy and frosty tend to hold the puck too long which translates to goals but can also lead to takeaways. The next group on the right are the kids who have the highest takeaway to giveaway ratios. The last grouping are the guys who give the puck away the most without making up for it.
The next two groupings represent the total takeaway/giveaway ratio per game. The positive number means that that player average that many more takeaways than giveaways every game. These are the guys that you hear jetskiller yelling about from the Carolinas cursing EA and the poke check. “God Damnit Bobby”. The right chart are the guys that lose it way more then they get it. Judging by some of the names on this list these are the guys who break out early and don’t backcheck.
|Player||TKA/GVA per Game|
|Literal Losers||TKA/GVA per Game|
|Awesome Be Me||-6.50|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||-6.00|
|Willis x 97||-5.70|
|Bo Horvat Jr||-5.09|
The last grouping of the day are guys that gotta little bit of the mercury poisoning. Those old Hatrick Swayzes, the individuals that when they score they come in bunches. The left chart shows the most hat tricks in league history, with no surprise of Willy and Giroux just blowing everyone away. The last chart is the chance that you are getting a hattrick tonight or as I guess we should call it the Sheildzyyy ratio because that nerd is getting a hattrick more then half the time he plays.
|Player||Career Hat Tricks|
|Willis x 97||58|
|Gronk x l87l||26|
|Bo Horvat Jr||22|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||20|
|Players||Hat Tricks %|
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||26.32%|
|Willis x 97||25.55%|
That wraps up the Season 11 veteran signup breakdown. There are a lot of quality guys with different skill sets here and it will make it interesting come draft time. I have done a purely by the numbers ranking of the NZHLveteran players in this draft so far. I used the stats per game to try and make it as even as possible. The stat breakdown is shown below. Your individual skater stat is compared to the league average if you are above you get positive points and if you are below you get negative points. Each stat was then multiplied against a factor I completely made up on the spot because I can.
Using those factors the top 15 veterans in this draft (by the stats and my *COMPLETELY* made-up factors calm the f down) are as follows:
|l0l iVeRsOn l3l||3.03|
I hope you all wasted as much time reading this as I did making it.