NZHL Top Pimps & Top Hoe’s

Welcome to the shit show called TOP Pimps and Top HOE’S. This will be a weekly occurrence as players will go from Pimp’s to Hoe’s in a matter of a week. All the opinions below are 100% based on Furry Pujols. If you have issues go to him. See you next week.

Top Pimp Himself

Area 51

Top Pimp – Hoots Daddy

Hoots brings it on the ice & in the locker room. He loves to get butt naked and yell at the boys. Expect him to bring the energy in week 1.

Top Hoe – Iverson

I have no damn idea what they’re going to do with this guy. So here he sits. Only way is up.

Average Joe’s

Top Pimp – Brandon

Comes in as top pick and top dog. I do expect him to be Top hoe starting next week but we’ll see.

Top Hoe – R xYATESx77

Skating Mids. He’s had a rough go around in every league lately and this doesn’t look like a better situation for him this season.


Top Pimp – xxJONx

If anyone knows how to carry Rak it’s this guy. Now the real test is carrying Rak through the mental war MAW will endure this season.

Top Hoe – Thanx Goalie

I really like this guy I really do. He brings enegry and memes to the table but fuck that contract man. I will take Rak into further evaluation to see why that pick was made.


Top Pimp – Marty

Fuckin Marty.

Top Hoe – lMiller9l

Miller made a comment that he’s always lurking in the background. Now i got you front and center 10 million dollar man. Play good this week and evolve into TOP PIMP.


Top Pimp – Ploop

Daddy Ploop will be the heart here. This team will go as far as this man goes. Some might call him Himothy but we’ll see.

Top Hoe – Ders

I won’t even call him by his new GT. This man went from hero to zero. Be better. I love you.

Smokin’ Beers

Top Pimp – Shieldzy

Best player in the league. No 🧢

Top Hoe – J Pizzle

The man that couldn’t afford a series S. He’s going to have a great time on this headache of a team. Expect him to have a not so great season.


Top Pimp – Led

This guy will be a force to reckon with especially with Full and Nero on the wings. He’ll be a dishing machine.

Top Hoe – SeidEffect/Gronk

Taking a look at this roster when he plays it will be their worst d core. The top line D core I expect would be Cheller/Gronk Duo once a week. Also, Gronk PT wtf is wrong with you pimp. Be better.

Mud dogs

Top Pimp – Ga Goots

He’s alive after being dead for a couple seasons. The question is he worth a 1st round pick after the lay off?

Top Hoe – Skirata

I love this guy but Jesus Christ you paid him 6 million for Center.


Top Pimp – Giroux

Arguably the best player in this league, nuff said.

Top Hoe – Furry Pujols

Guy is so ass. Walking cost on the ice for the chiefs don’t play this man with your top line.


Top Pimp – Some Fat Gezer

This man is the heartbeat of this team and I expect him to play like it in week 1.

Top Hoe – Shrimp

I hope he actually plans on playing G this season. If he is anywhere else it’s a throw. I also hope he decides to play 2 nights a week in the net.

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