NZHL Pre-Season Power Rankings


Trucks do have the best defense in the league and some owners thought it would be a great idea to let Willis fall here…… This team is going to be a wagon son.

2. Lions

My son ploop went out and had himself a draft. This is what happens when a rookie comes under my wing to begin his career. He reaches for the stars. The only concern here is if they get good Kariya or shit Kariya. Time will tell as they play the trucks opening night.

3. Chiefs

The chiefs had themselves quite the draft as well. Except for taking furry for 5 million. That’s okay tho as him and Boone will both be snuggled into Gio, Giroux & Manny’s backpack.

4. Average Joe’s

Besides Gator fumbling the biggest bag of his NZHL career this team could be solid as they have tons of chemistry . They also could be potentially dogshit but I’ll give them the benefit of doubt this week.

5 Area 51

This team on paper is really good and going to be interesting to see who plays what positions. They have a handful of guys that can play every position extremely well. They did get Odd guy so every team just needs to LT and make him take his famous tripping penalties.

6. Mud Dogs

Had to show a little respect to the returning champs but this team is not nearly as good as last season. This team will either stay at #6 all season or find themselves at the bottom.

7. Dumpstars

Dump had an “ok” draft. They really will need Led & Cheller to carry the load around here. Also, it’s nice to have a gronk 1 night a week but that doesn’t help come ploffs. This team is slightly better than last seasons team but light years behind the Heroic Duck Stars team we seen 2 seasons ago.

8. Alcohooligans

Ah man, here we go again. Shrimp betting all his marbles on a CHL mem duo. Although Gezer will be a major upgrade in the co-captain spot. If this team doesn’t click off the rip this season is over just like last. Also, will need CN to make a save for this team to win. If he plays like he makes grilled cheese get fucked.

9. Memphis

Fwd wise this team is disgraceful. Although they do have the 2nd best defensive core in the league. There will be some heavy lifting to do here by certain players. This will be a wildcard team that will just click or be shit. Thanx for 5 million still blows my mind as well. That’s nicky patts level pick.

10. Smokin’ Beers

Teams a shit show. Jerry Jones of NZHL enough said….

Leave a Reply